Of Corrective Eye surgery, Boob jobs, and Math

Ok, I’m getting my eyes done. That’s just another way of saying i’m forever going to get rid of these brittle friends of mine – my glasses, who have been instrumental in my being non-blind for the past ten years.

I said i’m getting my eyes ‘done’, as opposed to saying i’m having corrective surgery, for a very legitimate reason. Getting something ‘done’, generally refers otherwise to a phrase ‘X job’, where X may be any body part, from the most visible ones to the deliberately covered ones (this may need to be re-phrased if you are a pornstar). According to my insurance company, corrective eye surgery doees not fall under the category of ‘medical procedures’. It is supposedly a cosmetic procedure. SO, very crudely, corrective eye surgery = boob job.

After the surgery, hopefully:

1. I will finally be able to stare directly at the sun – through sunshades. , a long unfulfilled dream.
2. I will not be blind when I sleep (that is the only time i remove my glasses).
3. I will not be pestered by people asking what my power is and why my glasses are so thick, and why i did not go for the latest super ultra-thin plastic lenses or for contact lenses.

General browsing led me to sites like this one, which highlights the complications patients encountered due to incorrectly performed lasik procedures. No medical procedure is without its own complications, and I am just crossing my fingers that the doc who’s scheduled to do my eye (heh, heh) should not have a bad fight with his wife the morning of my appointment and somehow screw up my eyes.

If I thought super ultra-thin ultra-amazing monochromatic whatever lenses or contact lenses were costly, why am I going for surgery that is bound to cost a lot more? Simple math:  Assuming I change my glasses every 18-20 months (max), and that each pair costs me around Rs 2000 (this is bound to go up in the coming years), the next 20 years would see me (or for the next few years atleast, my father) spending around Rs 30000 on glasses alone. I say 20 years, because beyond that, everyone’s bound to get some faulty vision due to ageing. Include to that replacing broken glasses and stuff, and compare it with a one-time investment of nearly the same amount of money, which almost assures (95% success rate) 20 years of spectacles-free life. Neat, huh?