GHAJINI

Just back from the movie, caught it in a paid preview at a multiplex here. First, I was happy to see “In remembrance of the late H.Sridhar” as the first words that came on screen. This was his last film, and his loss is unsurmountable to the entire music world, and to A.R.Rahman fans in particular.

I was excited to see this movie as I had seen the tamil version atleast 4 or 5 times, had liked it a lot, and was keen to see how Aamir Khan had gone about portraying the lead character, and of course, for AR’s music and background score. I have to say, it did not disappoint at all. For people who saw the tamil version and don’t like Aamir, it would be just ordinary, or as they might say, Scene-to-scene copy. But they have changed the climax (the original version’s climax was not very appealing), and there’s only one villian (no evil twin).

The only aspect in which Aamir does not measure up to Surya is his age; Surya looked much younger as Sanjay than Aamir. That said, Aamir looks far younger than he did in Rang De Basanti or Fanaa, and all the hard work he has put into developing his physique pays off, the action sequences look believable because of this.

Asin looks great, she speaks flawless Hindi, and does her part very well; the North Indian audience will in all probability be floored by her, she looks all set for a bright career in Bollywood.

The audience responded well, the claps came at the expected junctures, and the laughs for the comedy scenes. Only Behka and Gujarish are picturized in their entirety, other songs come in bits and pieces – this does well to not slow down the pace of the movie. Riyaz Khan and the villain guy (Chenna thaana from Totti Jaya), along with Asin, of course, have been retained from the original. Stunts by Stun Siva and Peter Hein, photography by Ravi.K.Chandran, direction A.R.Murugadoss – a lot of Kodambakkam-bred guys are making their mark in Bombay as well. Also, I’ve seen the guys who get beaten up by Aamir in a lot of tamil films… Heh, seems like they have been exported too, .

I think this movie will be a grand success up here in the North – there was loud applause when the movie ended, and all the people seemed very contented. That is commendable, especially after the mega-hype that was given for this film.

I was especially happy to miss Nayantara and her rotundity in this version. Her replacement, Jiah Khan, thankfully, does not expose as much (though I hear she’s known for that- maybe i misjudge because the Latoo song was only 1 minute long), and scrapes through with a decent performance.

Overall – Aamir proves his mettle, Asin enthralls, movie was really good; but doesn’t have the effect it’s supposed to have on me because I’ve already seen it in Tamil.

A.R.Rahman has obviously done a great job with the songs, which are a big hit with the people here. You can’t expect the class of Yuvvraaj or Guru in this movie, it has to be kept simple and commerical. He has done a marvellous job, experimented a bit with Behka, and on the whole, provided us with a winner of a soundtrack. BGM wise, its just the instrumental variations of each song playing in the background, along with a few other pieces. There was this piece when Asin accepts Aamir’s love, it was lovely.

Be sure to catch this movie, it’s as good as any – you are sure to be entertained.

A.R.Rahman and Yanni

Sometimes, you have the weirdest dreams. I had this one recently when I was in a disturbed stupor, drugged by antibiotics.

I am at this huge building. It is this kind of a place where there are so many different halls and auditoriums, so that many different functions/events can take place together. I’m there for some random function, and happen to spot A.R.Rahman at a nearby hall (He’s standing at the door to that particular hall, speaking to two strangers I cannot recognise). Terribly excited, I desperately search for paper on me, but am unable to find any. I saunter over to that side of the place, and keep walking here and there, hoping he will notice me. ARR is looking smart in a brown suit and gelled hair. Incidentally, I wear a striped shirt and plain white pants on that particular day.

Suddenly, AR gestures to me. I am first at a loss of what to say or think, then I realise. Because of my clothes, he thinks I’m a waiter of some sort and wants me to collect his empty glass. I’m not one bit abashed (Heh .. ARR’s glass), and rush over to him, with a blank mind, having forgotten everything I had dreamed of saying to him if I ever met him in life. He seems to realise his mistake of recognising me as a waiter (Dunno how).

“Sorry, I thought you were …”

“Thats quite alright, sir, I would be honoured to.. Sir, I am a big fan of ..”, I say, with an outstretched hand for the empty glass.

“No, really, it’s ok, I will myself take care of it ..”

“Please sir, I insist, please give it here to me..”

He reluctantly hands it over to me, smiling, still thinking I am attending the same function that he is, and that I’m related to the host or something. I smell mutton biryani, and assume this is some muslim marriage, and of someone lucky enough to have A.R.Rahman as a guest!

He then smiles at me, and turns to go back into the seating space, and I follow him..

“Sir, could you please give me an autograph..?? I hope I’m not troubling you by asking at a function like this..”

“Sure, Sure.. Not a problem.. Have you got some paper..?? ” He appears pre-occupied with something.

I give him a library book “Tales of Beedle the Bard” (!!), and tell him, “Sir, this is all i’ve got, if you could sign on the backside… “

He signs  “God Bless, A.R.Rahman”.

He then says goodbye to his hosts, and walks out of the door, alone (!), and I follow him. He doesn’t seem to mind me walking along with him (!). (Now, he is wearing the clothes he wears in the Jiya se Jiya video)

As we keep walking along a corridor that seems very long and is strikingly similar to my hostel wing(!!) AR says, “I have a plane to catch, you know..”

“I understand, sir..”, I say, wondering why on earth would AR be telling this to me and also wondering why i said i understood.

I am still at a complete loss of words, and can’t think of anything to say to him, about how much his music means to me, about how he has made my day a million times, and about how expectant I am of his each and every album.

I blabber, “Sir, Slumdog has been nominated for Best Original score ..”, and I stop there. How stupid?? Wouldn’t he know, you idiot?? I tell myself to not be stupid and talk something sensible.

Strangely enough, he replies, “Ya I know, I had a great time working on Slumdog Millionaire.. Did you like the songs?”

I excitedly reply, “Sir, they are awesome…Some tracks may enter my all-tima favourite list sir.. O Saya, Mausam & Escape.. Terrific sir, no words to describe..”

He shoots back, “So you downloaded my songs illegally huh, the CD is not yet available in India!!”

I stammer, “But sir, I was so eager to listen to the tracks.. I buy original CDs of all your albums..I’m sorry sir”

He says, “Ya, I know, I did urge them to release it simultaneously in India.. “

We have arrived at the end of the corridor, and directly ahead stands a dilapidated and ancient looking house, the typical kind, thatched and slanting roof, two windows and a door in the front, with a fence around it, and a sliding gate.

For some reason AR and I walk upto it, and AR remarks, “I bet this house is haunted.”

I turn to look around the place, which is quite barren and deserted(the corridor has disappeared). I turn to look at AR and ask him if he really thinks so, only to find that he is gone. Disappeared.

Disturbed, I start wondering if I had been dreaming all along, and lean onto the fence. The house suddenly bursts into flames, and ropes appear out of nowhere, binding me to the gate so tightly that they almost went down to my bones. as I pass out, I groggily have a vision:

AR gets onto his private jet and waves out of the window. There is a river nearby, and I see a magnificent yacht.Yanni, in a white dress (long-haired, not as he is now), is standing on the deck, eyes closed, in a trance. The yacht fades into nothingness, and I wake up.

The Classical Dream

You always don’t see the end. There’s water, or its dried up and cracked mud, but you don’t see yourself hitting it. It is like doing a bungee jump. You just see yourself until the point where your inches close to the surface, and you wake up. I’m talking about the classical dream- I’m not sure about others, but it is the dream I used to have most often. It usually ended somewhere under a bridge like this one:

Chased. By man/beast/ghost, but always, I was the one being chased. Through completely different landscapes, each time for a different reason, but I was always running for my life, and was running very fast. I never knew for how long, but I was running like I never had in my life. I see the bridge, and run onto it, seeing the distant other side of it as an escape route, something that would rescue me from the dreadful things chasing me. Sadly, it was anything but that. Halfway through, I would realise that the bridge had no exit route on the other side, and the only way to go was below. So, I would jump. The bridge was always so tall, and I would fall for what seemed like an eternity, before waking up in cold sweat, and never experiencing what happened after that. I hope I never experience this classical dream of mine in real life.

Yeh Jo Des Hai Tera

Be it the unusual pattern or structuring for a patriotic homesick kind of song, or the most innovative use of the Shehnai, till then majorlyunused  in mainstream film music, or AR’s voice oozing out craving for the motherland and patriotism in every syllable, Yeh Jo Des Hai Tera is the ultimate song for any NRI wanting to feel sick at himself for having left India. In an interview, AR said he composed this song when in London, and when truly craving to return to India. What a man!!! The song is not as popular as, say, Maa Tujhe Salaam because of its slower structure, takes-repeated-listenings-to-get-hooked feel, and the moderate success of the movie Swades. The song comes at the very end of the Swades movie and is picturized on SRK walking around and contemplating returning to India forever quitting his NASA job. Check out this near flawless performance of Yeh Jo… by the man himself on a show called Mission Ustad, on which he was one of the judges. I uploaded this video to youtube after cutting it from the video of that episode i had, here it is:

Jiya Se Jiya!!!

ARR’s first private album after Vande Mataram!! Thanks Nokia!!! The album, ‘Connections’, will be exclusively available on Nokia Xpress Music devices from January, they say. I hope they release it as a separate CD as well, would register good sales. I must say, bumper year for A.R.Rahman fans!!! So many albums this year, more than the last three years combined.
One song from the album, Jiya Se jiya, is being beamed on all music channels ever since the release three days ago. Check out the video :

First time ARR appears in a music video without sunglasses, and not on a desert with long hair .
The video is really cool, Sivamani adds up to the spice. The free hugs concept is borrowed from Juan Mann’s Free Hugs campaign.

This is what AR had to say about Connections:

“I am very happy to join hands with Nokia for yet another industry first. The album, Nokia Connections is very close to my heart as we have taken inspiration from different walks of life to create nine soundtracks that establish the diversity of music,” and he concludes “In today’s time a song like “Jiya se Jiya” becomes even more relevant as it gives the message of embracing everyone irrespective of their region, religion or language.”

ARR, you rock!!!
You can download the mp3 of the above video here (64 kbps, best quality available as of now)

If Cricket is Religion…

Sachin Tendulkar (Thalaivar), today, guided India to one of its best test wins for a long long time. The series win against australia was exceptional in its own significance, but to chase 387 in the fourth innings and win by six wickets is something truly fantastic. Sachin, for the umpteenth time, has silenced his critics and Yuvraj has also to an extent substantiated his inclusion in the test team with a brilliant knock. It was a superb feeling to watch it on TV itself, Sachin hitting the winning runs and bringing up his century, Yuvraj lifting him into the air, and the khaki-shorts clad groundsmen hurrying up and being the first to congratulate Sachin. Sachin himself ranked this knock among his very best, olarified a bit when asked about the significance of this test match after last month’s terror attacks, but made his point nevertheless. Dhoni, was as usual, his composed and awesome self when speaking as the winning captain. Sehwag was rightly credited for setting up the victory with his blitzkreig on Sunday, when he was given the MoM award.

Team India is turning into an awesome unit, both in test and ODI cricket with terrific team effort, and I hope their run continues.

P.S. Dravid should retire by himself rather than being kicked out, for his and everyone’s good. If he produces a good knock in the next test, I will shut up.

On another note, the shot in the pic was an awesome one, the best one in his innings today.

If cricket is religion, _Sachin is God_. There. You know what completes this sentence.

Deaf accountant joke

Hey wassup people.. I came across this joke yesterday, thought i’d share it here (This joke is not original by any means, it has various forms of it all over the internet, but Reader’s Digest still published this and gave 1000 bucks to the guy who sent this in, December 2008 issue)

There was this major mobster/gangster (very short-tempered), who made millions of dollars everyday by indulging in all sorts of major crime. He hired an accountant to take care of his numerous bank accounts in various countries and keep track of all the money-realted stuff. (This guy being a major criminal and all, he was obviously bad at math and stuff, so he had to hire a guy for that).
This accountant guy happened to be deaf, as well as dumb. He could communicate only through sign language thus, but he picked up cash details real fast and was really efficient in the job assigned to him, hence the gangster found no reason to complain.
A couple of months later, the gangster realised (dim-witted as he was), that the accountant had somehow embezzled $5 million in cash from him. Enraged, he stormed off to the accountant’s house and threatened to rape his wife and burn his kids alive if he did not tell where he’s hidden the cash. But then he realised his threats were futile as the accountant could not understand him. Miffed, he arranged for a sign language interpreter to be sent over, and the conversation went something like this::
Gangster: Ask him where he’s hidden the stolen cash.
Interpreter: Repeats the same to the accountant in sign language.
Accountant: I have no idea what you are talking about, I did not steal anything.(in sign language)
Interpreter: Repeats this in English to the gangster.
Gangster: (Enraged) Tell this mothafucka that i’ll rape his wife and burn his kids after having his penis cut off. He holds a gun to the accountant’s temple and almost pulls the trigger.
Interpreter: Explains this threat to the accountant with some difficulty.
Accountant: (really scared by the threat, frantically signals) OK OK!!!!! I’m really sorry please do not shoot me, I stuffed the cash in a green suitcase and buried it in my cousin barny’s garden and marked the spot with an X.
Interpreter (with a grim look on his face, turns to the gangster and says): This guy has some nerve, boss- He calls you a son of a bitch and says you don’t have the guts to pull the trigger, he asks you to go and f**k yourself.

!!!

Bull Penis Soup, anyone?

Ok, I was just timepassing on the net, as always, and happened to view the following video. (Please do not commit the following images to memory, you may have trouble eating anything as normal as sambar sadham for a few hours atleast.)

It is said that the Chinese will eat anything, and by anything, i mean everything, excepting ships and aeroplanes. You would not disagree, I am sure, if you viewed the above video. I stumbled upon a site, Weirdmeat, in which a food connoiseur (?) documents his travels through China and other weird-food parts of the world, and the variety of food (our definition of food is grossly different) he has tried, right from dog meat to rooster testicles, fish poop and bull penises. Speaking of bull penises, here are a couple of videos:  and the second one showing bull c**ks boiling away in a vessel (If you did not know they are indeed what they are, please leave a comment on what you’d have guessed them to be )

This one from NGC, in which a Taiwan Chef says you have to clean it well before cooking to avoid tasting bull urine

This one showing bull c**ks boiling away in a vessel (If you did not know they are indeed what they are, please leave a comment on what you’d have guessed them to be )

How Charming!!

Of Corrective Eye surgery, Boob jobs, and Math

Ok, I’m getting my eyes done. That’s just another way of saying i’m forever going to get rid of these brittle friends of mine – my glasses, who have been instrumental in my being non-blind for the past ten years.

I said i’m getting my eyes ‘done’, as opposed to saying i’m having corrective surgery, for a very legitimate reason. Getting something ‘done’, generally refers otherwise to a phrase ‘X job’, where X may be any body part, from the most visible ones to the deliberately covered ones (this may need to be re-phrased if you are a pornstar). According to my insurance company, corrective eye surgery doees not fall under the category of ‘medical procedures’. It is supposedly a cosmetic procedure. SO, very crudely, corrective eye surgery = boob job.

After the surgery, hopefully:

1. I will finally be able to stare directly at the sun – through sunshades. , a long unfulfilled dream.
2. I will not be blind when I sleep (that is the only time i remove my glasses).
3. I will not be pestered by people asking what my power is and why my glasses are so thick, and why i did not go for the latest super ultra-thin plastic lenses or for contact lenses.

General browsing led me to sites like this one, which highlights the complications patients encountered due to incorrectly performed lasik procedures. No medical procedure is without its own complications, and I am just crossing my fingers that the doc who’s scheduled to do my eye (heh, heh) should not have a bad fight with his wife the morning of my appointment and somehow screw up my eyes.

If I thought super ultra-thin ultra-amazing monochromatic whatever lenses or contact lenses were costly, why am I going for surgery that is bound to cost a lot more? Simple math:  Assuming I change my glasses every 18-20 months (max), and that each pair costs me around Rs 2000 (this is bound to go up in the coming years), the next 20 years would see me (or for the next few years atleast, my father) spending around Rs 30000 on glasses alone. I say 20 years, because beyond that, everyone’s bound to get some faulty vision due to ageing. Include to that replacing broken glasses and stuff, and compare it with a one-time investment of nearly the same amount of money, which almost assures (95% success rate) 20 years of spectacles-free life. Neat, huh?

Lakhvi’s capture and the weakness of Pakistan

A few words about this blog, first. It is just my way of timepassing, and to beat boredom, i will put my thoughts on various happenings around the world in this space; hopefully i will daily update with interesting news stuff and my take on them, both serious stuff and otherwise. It will also contain posts on music, movies and cricket – my main passions.

I could not be starting a new blog on 9th december 2008 and not mention anything about the terror attacks a couple of weeks ago – it would seem just plain ignorant. The latest development in the past fortnight or so of quickly unfolding events that began with ten 20-somethings massacring 200-odd innocent people and policemen, is that the alleged mastermind behind these attacks, Zakiur Rehman Lakhvi alias Chachu, a key member of the top brass of LeT, has been arrested by the Pakistani Army.

Personally, I see this as a very late and weak response from Pakistan to the continued demands of India and the US, along with the rest of the world, to see some action against the obvious perpetrators of the heinous attack. LeT’s name has prominently figured in all the reports preceding and following the attacks, beginning with the intelligence reports from Russian, American and Indian intelligence agencies. The US, particularly, was not particularly keen on India eliciting a military response as ‘revenge’, and put pressure on the Pakistani officials to attack, imposing a 48-hour deadline to see some action.

The Pakistan government first seemed to have responded properly to India, with reports saying that the ISI Chief would come to India, for being investigated rather than investigating stuff, it seemed. The very next day, Zardari did a U-turn after politicians within his country termed the move as weak, saying his comments had been misinterpreted and that he had never meant to send the ISI Chief to India. The Pakistani officials started asking for evidence the Indians had against them. Heck, we were accusing you of having bred the frigging terrorists and egging them on to attack India, having turned a blind eye to happenings under your very nose, and you were asking for evidence. Where on earth is evidence provided to the accused? That too, when we had already known that Pakistan was always a breeding ground for terrorists, and LeT-like organisations were not thwarted, a fact confirmed by the captured terrorist’s story (Incidentally, Ajmal Amir Kasab, the captured terrorist’s name means ‘Butcher’)?

After India good as threatened to carry out ’surgical’ air strikes to eliminate the terrorist camps and pressure to act mounted greater than before, Pakistan’s army cracked down on one terrorist camp, one among the countless, and arrested eight people, one of whom is Lakhvi. Can you believe it?? They know exactly where each on of these camps are located, Condoleezza Rice arrived in Pakistan with exact co-ordinated of all the known camps, obtained from various intelligence gatehring exercises. And this is all the action they can take?

I cannot even remotely envision the presence of such camps in India, that too sponsored by the government. It has been established that the training of the fidayeen group which attacked Mumbai was done, among others, by Pakistani ex-army men. The Pakistan Army failed to stop the merchant ship carrying the terrorists, though it had an idea of what was happening. I am not for war, I do not want India to emulate the US and create an Iraq-like situation; it could mean only woes for our country, already struggling to deal with the economic crisis.

We can only hope for Pakistan to take proper action against Lakhvi and his cronies, or atleast hand him over to India (near impossible, they are refusing to hand over Dawood Ibrahim till date, this guy lives a life of luxury in Karachi). One thing I’m confident of, though. The Indian army/air force/navy is more than capable of eliminating these terrorists groups in Pakistan, if given a chance, but here again a thousand complications stand in the way. Ah, if it was only as simple as the video games we play…